Sunday, October 24, 2010

Another Day

I don't want tomorrow to come,
that way she won't go away
no words left
what do I say?

I'm sorry for what I said
don't quite know what was going through my head
 I've turned her away
she needed me
couldn't help her any more
you see.

I tried, Oh I tired
and the tears I have cried
anger and frustration
at a system that didn't care

I want so much to have been able to share
what was going on inside
but I was denied.....

and now this....

wishing tomorrow wouldn't come

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Black Dog

From a dear friend's group site.
"Depression is a matter of day to day life for some people. This group offers mutual support for sufferers BY sufferers and those who cope day to day with their illness.

It can be very hard when you suffer from any depressive illness or associated disorders. You can feel like no-one else understands, and that your life is taken out of your own hands by doctors and other people who tell you what you should do to help yourself. Here you will find people who cope and thrive every day despite their illness, and who will offer you support and guidance on your way to healing and a happy, fulfilled life.

Depression affects around 25% of the population, and the trend is growing. Even doctors will tell you that medication is only ONE part of the healing process - therapies like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and 'talking' therapies are now more accepted and used than ever before.

That being the case, the more support you have, the better your chances of being able to deal with your illness - and the better your chances of returning to a more productive, happy life."

What isn't needed is for people to 'assume' that the person has this 'all in their head'. 
To a degree that is correct, but not in the derogatory sense of that statement. The Black Dog is an ever present companion, albeit unwanted, that can range in size from a puppy hardly noticeable to anyone but the person it 'hangs with'. to a raging snapping, snarling creature of menace that will take out all who are near this person to isolate them and keep them for itself as a play thing.

I understand this creature all too well. I live with it each and every day.

There are UNHELPFUL sayings that 'well meaning' people share with those of us who walk this path.. "I know EXACTLY how you feel dear"... how can you? Even if you and I shared the same dis-ease, there would be no way that you would be able to know EXACTLY how I felt, nor I the same about you.

Pity Parties are NOT helpful to ANYONE... be it the person throwing the party or those around..... we have our 'good days' and our 'not so good days'. We have times when just being left alone is good for us. We'll come back out of our cave eventually.
Walk with us, beside us. Go around to the other side of the valley and wait for us there, we will eventually join you, but PLEASE DO NOT pity us, nor treat us like we are imbecilic. We are people who feel, think, hurt, laugh, cry.

We are mothers, sisters, Aunties. Brothers, uncles, fathers.

We could well be YOU and you aren't aware of it as yet.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Why is it that SO MANY of these so called 'helpful diet' pages have this focus "4 Foods To Never Eat" 
What ever happened to giving those of us who really want to live life to the fullest by eating, hopefully food that is beneficial to our particular bodies something like "4 Foods That Will Help Get Your Body Healthy"... now doesn't THAT sound so much better?

Positive reinforcement goes a lot FURTHER than anything negative. The negative thought implanted by that first title is going to do far more damage in the long run, it will I feel, set up in the mind a thought that 'this is NOT going to work, that I will always CRAVE these foods and by doing so sabotage all the effort I have put in thus far'... creating a cycle of yo-yo dieting. The body never knowing from one day to the next what it is going to be hit with for the day. 
Is it not BETTER to give support and encouragement to the mind and soul as well as the person (this includes you yourself) in this journey of a lifetime? 

If you are on this journey, and many of us are. 
Find a group of people who will challenge you in a loving and respectful way. 
A group of people, who will allow you to be you, not try to change you to be like them. 
A group where CONFIDENTIALITY of the group and individual "what is said in the group stays in the group' is PARAMOUNT 
A group who will respect individuality in that not everything works for everyone, we are all of us individuals with different and individual sets of life circumstances as well as bodies to deal with, and then there is the emotional and spiritual side as well.
There is a group of people who I love dearly and we are on this journey together, we value; love; and accept each other for what we have been through and where we are going. We journey TOGETHER, NEVER again to be alone in our striving and struggle.

BEWARE of ANYONE who tells you in one way or another "I know EXACTLY what you are going through dear"..... RUN

I encourage you to be KIND to yourself on this journey. There will be great days and not so great days. Times when you will not be fazed by what is going on around you and like today for me, there will be times when you just want to throw in the towel. Keep going, keep sight of the prize. Keep in your mind the reason you are on this journey. Are you doing this for YOU or others?
Keep a record of your initial weight, bare weigh is best. And then DO NOT use the scales until week 4, 8, and the like. You will in this journey lose fat which will be replaced by muscle. Muscle weighs HEAVIER than fat. The scales will lie to you your clothes will NOT. 
Keep a food diary, no one else need see it but you. This will give you a visual on what you actually DO put into you body and what you neglect to put in such as adequate amounts of water to help flush out toxins.
Limit the amount of sugar you have in the week. This includes sugary cereals (if sugar is in the first 3 ingredients..
STAY AWAY from it on a regular basis) alcohol, soft/fizzy drinks.
Lollies, cakes and the like. Bread as well, that is something that turns sweet in the body.

Get adequate rest and exercise. What ever you can do to move a bit extra each day, do it. If you are elderly or wheel chair bound, get a set of light weights and do resistance exercises, anything to move the blood around your body and get the heart rate up a bit. Above ALL ask your doctor what exercises are SUITABLE for your life style and situation.
Get up to change channels, park the car that little bit across from where you have a spot 'booked' ^_^
Laugh more, cry more, and live more. Life is way too short.
DO NOT deny yourself the occasional treat... a glass of wine with dinner is fine; just don't drink the whole bottle.
A chocolate biscuit is fine just not the whole packet (yep, I've done that by NOT THINKING, not being conscious of what I was putting into my mouth)

Be around POSITIVE people on your life's journey. You may find that people you knew for a long time disappear and you can't think why. There will be people come into your life for a short time... either for you to encourage them or them to do that for you and they will disappear again and you not know or understand why. DO NOT be saddened by this and revert back to emotional eating (I struggle with this EVERY DAY) keep travelling the road less travelled as the saying goes. Because not many will travel this road and keep going, one day reaching their goal, their destination and be able to look back at what they were and rejoice in what they have become.

I encourage you on this road in life. What ever you are becoming or embarking on becoming
Read GOOD uplifting books, think about what the author has to say
Keep a journal
Be around as many POSITIVE people as you can
Be with a group of people who will encourage you (but not let you stay in a pity party too long) on your journey through the high points and low

Do this for YOU

Blessings on your journey

Monday, October 4, 2010

Have you ever wondered...

Why life is so darn difficult?
Why do 'things' that you 'plan' don't turn out?

Why is it the guy next door or down the road seems to 'have it all'? 
Could be that you, like me are just plain trying too hard to make things work 'our' way?

I came across a book in my wanderings in the library the other day, or did that book find me?
It is titled "Do Less, Achieve More -Discovering The Hidden Power Of Giving In" by Chin-ning Chu
sounded appealing so I thought I'd give it a read.. this is now on my MUST get for home books....
a little offering from my reading this morning

"Contentment seems an elusive goal that goes against our modern culture. In our minds, we all believe that in order to be contented everything in our lives must be going very well. The problem is: What does 'going very well' mean if you don't have a contented mind?
The word contentment often implies desirelessness and inactivity, It seems to contradict the state needed for aspiring to success. When you are seeking the consummation of a given goal or object, you presumably in a state of longing ir incompleteness - a state of noncontentment that drives you into endless activity......
The truly successful person knows the magnetic power of contentment. In order to get better, you must accept whatever positive results you have achieved - even though they may be considered meagre - because, where ever you are, this is your only  starting point.
Contentment is NOT  about beating yourself and others up unnecessarily to achieve even more;  nor is it about being satisfied with mediocrity.
Contentment  IS  about taking delight in our positive  results while, with gratitude and zest , we challenge ourselves and others in pursuing higher and loftier standards in every aspect of our lives.
The power of contentment gives birth to self acceptance and selfless love. 
This love then radiates to everything you touch - your work, your family - allowing a space for improvement. "

ACCEPT where you are at and work from there... take what has happened in your life up to this point as a learning tool... do NOT allow the past to keep you captured in mediocrity... look at what you HAVE ACHIEVED even if it is only gotten up each day and made it through that day.. find ways to stop trying so hard and let what is yours to come, come to you.....

A Bible saying comes to mind.... "Let go and let God"

Endeavour as much as possible, and this will take time and conscious work to achieve. Endeavour to 'be in the moment' something I am working on more consciously each day. Allow ONLY positive to be your guide.. those negative seeds will destroy your dreams if you let them...
seeds of:
low self esteem
hatred towards oneself or others

work on yourself and all around you will notice the difference.

Blessings on your journey