Thursday, November 4, 2010

Gift giving and this time of the year

ok, an unashamed personal plug for Paul's and my photography....
we have a spot on Redbubble and show our work, poetry and calendars.
Redbubble have a fantastic offer at the moment if anyone who reads this would like to take advantage of for the coming Christmas time. 15% saving.. yep...
now is the time to take advantage of the savings for ONLY our work with this offer. While you are there think of other gift giving times ahead..... Thanks

Share your 15% discount code: SilverPromidi_is_on_sale_4545

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Another Day

I don't want tomorrow to come,
that way she won't go away
no words left
what do I say?

I'm sorry for what I said
don't quite know what was going through my head
 I've turned her away
she needed me
couldn't help her any more
you see.

I tried, Oh I tired
and the tears I have cried
anger and frustration
at a system that didn't care

I want so much to have been able to share
what was going on inside
but I was denied.....

and now this....

wishing tomorrow wouldn't come

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Black Dog

From a dear friend's group site.
"Depression is a matter of day to day life for some people. This group offers mutual support for sufferers BY sufferers and those who cope day to day with their illness.

It can be very hard when you suffer from any depressive illness or associated disorders. You can feel like no-one else understands, and that your life is taken out of your own hands by doctors and other people who tell you what you should do to help yourself. Here you will find people who cope and thrive every day despite their illness, and who will offer you support and guidance on your way to healing and a happy, fulfilled life.

Depression affects around 25% of the population, and the trend is growing. Even doctors will tell you that medication is only ONE part of the healing process - therapies like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and 'talking' therapies are now more accepted and used than ever before.

That being the case, the more support you have, the better your chances of being able to deal with your illness - and the better your chances of returning to a more productive, happy life."

What isn't needed is for people to 'assume' that the person has this 'all in their head'. 
To a degree that is correct, but not in the derogatory sense of that statement. The Black Dog is an ever present companion, albeit unwanted, that can range in size from a puppy hardly noticeable to anyone but the person it 'hangs with'. to a raging snapping, snarling creature of menace that will take out all who are near this person to isolate them and keep them for itself as a play thing.

I understand this creature all too well. I live with it each and every day.

There are UNHELPFUL sayings that 'well meaning' people share with those of us who walk this path.. "I know EXACTLY how you feel dear"... how can you? Even if you and I shared the same dis-ease, there would be no way that you would be able to know EXACTLY how I felt, nor I the same about you.

Pity Parties are NOT helpful to ANYONE... be it the person throwing the party or those around..... we have our 'good days' and our 'not so good days'. We have times when just being left alone is good for us. We'll come back out of our cave eventually.
Walk with us, beside us. Go around to the other side of the valley and wait for us there, we will eventually join you, but PLEASE DO NOT pity us, nor treat us like we are imbecilic. We are people who feel, think, hurt, laugh, cry.

We are mothers, sisters, Aunties. Brothers, uncles, fathers.

We could well be YOU and you aren't aware of it as yet.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Why is it that SO MANY of these so called 'helpful diet' pages have this focus "4 Foods To Never Eat" 
What ever happened to giving those of us who really want to live life to the fullest by eating, hopefully food that is beneficial to our particular bodies something like "4 Foods That Will Help Get Your Body Healthy"... now doesn't THAT sound so much better?

Positive reinforcement goes a lot FURTHER than anything negative. The negative thought implanted by that first title is going to do far more damage in the long run, it will I feel, set up in the mind a thought that 'this is NOT going to work, that I will always CRAVE these foods and by doing so sabotage all the effort I have put in thus far'... creating a cycle of yo-yo dieting. The body never knowing from one day to the next what it is going to be hit with for the day. 
Is it not BETTER to give support and encouragement to the mind and soul as well as the person (this includes you yourself) in this journey of a lifetime? 

If you are on this journey, and many of us are. 
Find a group of people who will challenge you in a loving and respectful way. 
A group of people, who will allow you to be you, not try to change you to be like them. 
A group where CONFIDENTIALITY of the group and individual "what is said in the group stays in the group' is PARAMOUNT 
A group who will respect individuality in that not everything works for everyone, we are all of us individuals with different and individual sets of life circumstances as well as bodies to deal with, and then there is the emotional and spiritual side as well.
There is a group of people who I love dearly and we are on this journey together, we value; love; and accept each other for what we have been through and where we are going. We journey TOGETHER, NEVER again to be alone in our striving and struggle.

BEWARE of ANYONE who tells you in one way or another "I know EXACTLY what you are going through dear"..... RUN

I encourage you to be KIND to yourself on this journey. There will be great days and not so great days. Times when you will not be fazed by what is going on around you and like today for me, there will be times when you just want to throw in the towel. Keep going, keep sight of the prize. Keep in your mind the reason you are on this journey. Are you doing this for YOU or others?
Keep a record of your initial weight, bare weigh is best. And then DO NOT use the scales until week 4, 8, and the like. You will in this journey lose fat which will be replaced by muscle. Muscle weighs HEAVIER than fat. The scales will lie to you your clothes will NOT. 
Keep a food diary, no one else need see it but you. This will give you a visual on what you actually DO put into you body and what you neglect to put in such as adequate amounts of water to help flush out toxins.
Limit the amount of sugar you have in the week. This includes sugary cereals (if sugar is in the first 3 ingredients..
STAY AWAY from it on a regular basis) alcohol, soft/fizzy drinks.
Lollies, cakes and the like. Bread as well, that is something that turns sweet in the body.

Get adequate rest and exercise. What ever you can do to move a bit extra each day, do it. If you are elderly or wheel chair bound, get a set of light weights and do resistance exercises, anything to move the blood around your body and get the heart rate up a bit. Above ALL ask your doctor what exercises are SUITABLE for your life style and situation.
Get up to change channels, park the car that little bit across from where you have a spot 'booked' ^_^
Laugh more, cry more, and live more. Life is way too short.
DO NOT deny yourself the occasional treat... a glass of wine with dinner is fine; just don't drink the whole bottle.
A chocolate biscuit is fine just not the whole packet (yep, I've done that by NOT THINKING, not being conscious of what I was putting into my mouth)

Be around POSITIVE people on your life's journey. You may find that people you knew for a long time disappear and you can't think why. There will be people come into your life for a short time... either for you to encourage them or them to do that for you and they will disappear again and you not know or understand why. DO NOT be saddened by this and revert back to emotional eating (I struggle with this EVERY DAY) keep travelling the road less travelled as the saying goes. Because not many will travel this road and keep going, one day reaching their goal, their destination and be able to look back at what they were and rejoice in what they have become.

I encourage you on this road in life. What ever you are becoming or embarking on becoming
Read GOOD uplifting books, think about what the author has to say
Keep a journal
Be around as many POSITIVE people as you can
Be with a group of people who will encourage you (but not let you stay in a pity party too long) on your journey through the high points and low

Do this for YOU

Blessings on your journey

Monday, October 4, 2010

Have you ever wondered...

Why life is so darn difficult?
Why do 'things' that you 'plan' don't turn out?

Why is it the guy next door or down the road seems to 'have it all'? 
Could be that you, like me are just plain trying too hard to make things work 'our' way?

I came across a book in my wanderings in the library the other day, or did that book find me?
It is titled "Do Less, Achieve More -Discovering The Hidden Power Of Giving In" by Chin-ning Chu
sounded appealing so I thought I'd give it a read.. this is now on my MUST get for home books....
a little offering from my reading this morning

"Contentment seems an elusive goal that goes against our modern culture. In our minds, we all believe that in order to be contented everything in our lives must be going very well. The problem is: What does 'going very well' mean if you don't have a contented mind?
The word contentment often implies desirelessness and inactivity, It seems to contradict the state needed for aspiring to success. When you are seeking the consummation of a given goal or object, you presumably in a state of longing ir incompleteness - a state of noncontentment that drives you into endless activity......
The truly successful person knows the magnetic power of contentment. In order to get better, you must accept whatever positive results you have achieved - even though they may be considered meagre - because, where ever you are, this is your only  starting point.
Contentment is NOT  about beating yourself and others up unnecessarily to achieve even more;  nor is it about being satisfied with mediocrity.
Contentment  IS  about taking delight in our positive  results while, with gratitude and zest , we challenge ourselves and others in pursuing higher and loftier standards in every aspect of our lives.
The power of contentment gives birth to self acceptance and selfless love. 
This love then radiates to everything you touch - your work, your family - allowing a space for improvement. "

ACCEPT where you are at and work from there... take what has happened in your life up to this point as a learning tool... do NOT allow the past to keep you captured in mediocrity... look at what you HAVE ACHIEVED even if it is only gotten up each day and made it through that day.. find ways to stop trying so hard and let what is yours to come, come to you.....

A Bible saying comes to mind.... "Let go and let God"

Endeavour as much as possible, and this will take time and conscious work to achieve. Endeavour to 'be in the moment' something I am working on more consciously each day. Allow ONLY positive to be your guide.. those negative seeds will destroy your dreams if you let them...
seeds of:
low self esteem
hatred towards oneself or others

work on yourself and all around you will notice the difference.

Blessings on your journey

Thursday, September 30, 2010


Thanks David for posting this... wish it never had to be up here. One beautiful candle snuffed out through ignorance.

Asher Brown 13 Kills himself due to Gay and Religious Bulling - 09/23/2010

There is no good news in this story. None. It's sad, and it's endemic of the nightmares today's LGBT youth continue to face every. single. day. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old eighth grader at Hamilton Middle School outside Houston, shot himself in the head on September 23, 2010 after being "bullied to death."

Asher was tormented for being small. For his Buddhist religious beliefs. For the way he dressed. And for being gay. His bullies acted out mock gay sex acts in phys ed class.

As is growing increasingly typical, Asher's mother and stepfather Amy and David Truong say they notified administrators at the Harris, Texas school about how their son was being taunted. They say it's been a year and a half since they first alerted the school, but no action was taken. Calls to the school went unanswered. The school, meanwhile, says it never received any calls. School district spokeswoman Kelli Durham insists no students or teachers registered complaints, either.

Update: Durham says the school received an email from Amy earlier this month, but it was about problems at home, not school bullying.

That statement infuriated the Truongs, who accused the school district of protecting the bullies and their parents. "That's absolutely inaccurate — it's completely false," Amy Truong said. "I did not hallucinate phone calls to counselors and assistant principals. We have no reason to make this up. … It's like they're calling us liars." David Truong said, "We want justice. The people here need to be held responsible and to be stopped. It did happen. There are witnesses everywhere."

Asher took his own life with his stepfather's 9 mm Beretta, which was "stored on one of the closet's shelves." There was no suicide note. His stepfather David found his body, lifeless, after coming home from work. "I thought he was laying there reading a book or something," he says. "My son put a gun to his head because he couldn't take what he was hearing and the constant teasing."

His mother Amy came home to police sirens and yellow tape at her house. "They called him different names for being homosexual," she says. "He just had enough."

One report says Asher came out to his parents over the summer, and that they were so accepting he might have come out to his classmates. Another report says the morning of his death, Asher came out to David.

The day before, a student tripped him on the school steps and kicked his books all over the floor.

There's no more room to debate whether LGBT kids need our protection. It's inarguable. That American people, who love their children and their families and their sons and daughters and brothers and sisters can even fathom not standing up for LGBT rights.

--provided by

Hidden Statistics

"October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As a previous victim of DV I think it's important to highlight a crime that still goes unrecognised in some areas of society. Domestic Violence kills hundreds of men and women every day - up to 60% of female murder victims are killed by their current or ex partners. I'm going to be lighting a candle for the victims of Domestic Violence - I hope that some of you may join me."

We all have a story to tell, one of courage, survival and terror. I too am a survivor. I said to one young friend one day that if I told her even a little of what I have been through in my life it would make her hair curl.

To look at me I am not one who shows scars. I guess I am one of the lucky ones, only scar I have is a nose that has been shifted ever so slightly. The majority of my scars however are internal. Scars that are painful when touched even now, scars that eventually when I learn to love and forgive myself will be healed totally.

Men also are victims of Domestic Violence. This is also not unique to heterosexual couples either. 

This is a generational occurrence. Boys are taught by their fathers how to treat the women in their lives. Women teach their daughters how to expect to be treated by males....

Parents... PLEASE think about this.. what are you showing your children?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Contemplative moments

I have been thinking over the last few days about events that have been going on around me. 
One in particular. 
What does that mean to you? 
Has it ever meant anything to you? 
Can you grasp the emotion of love or not? 
How do you personally express love? 
Did you parents know how to effectively model an emotion in love or was it something that was for 'behind closed doors, and only mummies and daddies knew about that'? 
I personally have been through many forms of this 'love'. 
I have been in a place of equating 'love' with 'sex'. How do you see 'love'? 
There are, according to Wikki  ( four types of 'love' these are:

Storge - Affection

Affection (storge, στοργή) is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Ironically, its strength is also what makes it vulnerable. Affection has the appearance of being "built-in" or "ready made", says Lewis, and as a result people come to expect, even to demand, its presence—irrespective of their behaviour and its natural consequences.

Phileo - Friendship

Friendship is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity. Lewis explicitly says that his definition of friendship is narrower than mere companionship:


Eros (ἔρως) is love in the sense of 'being in love'. This is distinct from sexuality, which Lewis calls Venus, although he does spend time discussing sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense. He identifies eros as indifferent.

Agape - Charity

Charity (agapē, ἀγάπη) is the love that brings forth caring regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognises this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. The chapter on the subject focuses on the need of subordinating the natural loves to the love of God, who is full of charitable love.

So how do we KNOW we are in 'love' or merely in 'lust'?
I love 'forever' or is that ideal sadly becoming a thing of the past in this throw-away society.

Can you 'love' someone through the tough times and the good? Or do you get a bit like a rat deserting a sinking ship?

"A friend in NEED is a friend INDEED" ever wondered about that saying? I take it to mean that a friend who is there when you REALLY NEED them is INDEED (or by their deeds/actions) a true friend.

Have you told your loved ones today how much you love them and appreciate them? Or are you caught in the mind set so often found "oh, they know I love them".. do they? Do they really KNOW you love them?

Our time here on this planet is limited. I am reminded of footage I saw of the Towers going down on 9/11. One scene showed a couple hand in hand free falling to their death.... they loved each other I guess so much that they didn't want to be separated in their last moments together.

I wonder what I would do if Paul were to leave this world before I did, or for that matter how he would feel if I left before him. Personally if I had things my way, I would rather the way of that couple, that hand in hand we leave this world together. This is my love for him and his for me, we could not bear to be apart.

Love is a strong emotion. 

Remember today to tell those you love in which ever form,  that you love them


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

You have all heard this

They NEVER can nor will they.
Two people can have the same diagnosis however, they will experience this what ever in their OWN WAY...
How do you handle people like this? Do you 'act' or 'react'?
I am getting to the point in my life of being a 'grumpy old woman' ^_^ and as a result am getting very short tempered with folk like that.
Oh, they mean well and all. As the saying goes the way to hell is paved with good intentions...
If you are ever around me... PLEASE do NOT tell me you "know EXACTLY how I feel"

Monday, September 20, 2010


These wonderful people come from all over the world these days. 
I am very blessed to have my BEST friend as my husband, I am also very blessed to know many men and women from all over this beautiful country of Australia as well as many countries world wide.
What a wonderful invention was the Internet. My life would definitely be a lot poorer for not having these wonderful people around me.

Have you ever thought about the dynamics of friendship? Friendship works not really any differently to the relationship you have with you spouse/partner/significant other, although I feel that friends are a bit more relaxed in the way we treat each other. After all, at the end of the evening or coffee or movie time, we don't go home with them and may not see them physically for many days or weeks.

What makes a TRUE friend?
Is it someone who is there for you and you for them no matter what? Is a friend someone who will be possibly the only person in your circle of influence who will DARE to tell you to 'get you act together' in what ever way needed?

How long have you been friends with your friends?
I have some wonderful women who I count myself very fortunate to have known for at least 12 years now. They have stayed friends with me even though I have moved from the faith walk I was on when I first got to know them. They accept me for who I am, not what I believe in or any other externals. These ladies are to me very GOOD examples of women of God....Jeanne is probably the one who knows me best out of all of these ladies and she and I have been through a lot together. 

Friends, what does that word mean to you?

Have you moved country or State or even town and had to make new friends? I have. 
Not the easiest thing I have ever had to do. I was born and raised for a part of my life in Westport New Zealand. Moved to Wellington for a couple of years then over to Sydney Australia. I have to admit in all honesty, the move to Australia was THE HARDEST thing I have ever done, trying to get to know people here was never easy. I now have some absolutely wonderful friends here, some who would give me the shirt off their backs if I needed it, however, it has been a long and difficult road.

Do you make friends easily? How big a part does trust play in what you confide in to these friends?

My favourite movie quote here is also a psychology principle... the humble onion. Ever studied it, once you get your eyes clear after peeling it? Those rings. This is what Shrek was talking about.
We are the very centre of the onion. Those around us are in various places radiating out from the centre. The ones on the very outer rings (acquaintances), you hardly know or talk with and you most certainly WON'T tell them your deepest darkest secrets.... you have some of those don't you? I might have somewhere in the recesses of my mind.... got to do a Spring clean on that filing cabinet ^_^
but I digress.... the onion. The closer the rings to the centre, the more confidence and TRUST you have in a person in your circle of influence.
Did you realise that statistically each person knows on average 250 people in their lives.... true, there were studies done of funeral attendances ^_^

Word of mouth... great for advertisers and new products. Tina, my friend (her blog spot is linked here, go say hi) had a promotion and I got to test taste the product.... now here is where FREE marketing comes in for the company in question.... 
Kelloggs Sultana Bran Buds, look for them in your store.. they are YUMMO!!!!!!!!! eat them from the pack, or in a bowl if you are using manners and etiquette, have them with milk. Either way they are SO NICE...
now this is an example of Word of Mouth... I hope you go and at least try them...if you do I DARE you to STOP at ONE handful....
Cinemas, restaurants, car dealers many businesses rely on word of mouth. Now this can also work AGAINST a product/film/book/company. 250 friends, who in turn have 250 friends.. anyone good at extrapolation?

Friends, there for us and we for them. 
We might fight and squabble with each other, but woe betide the foolish one outside the circle who attacks one of the friends.

Friends. Remember to give yours a call or *hug* today and tell them just how much they mean to you. I am sure they will tell you how much they appreciate you.

Thank you my friends. Love you all bunches. 


I have been thinking about how much ownership of ourselves we give away to others. Seeking permissions and validation from others to do things, wear certain clothes that we would want to but becasue the person we ask personally doesn't like it, we put it aside along with a part of 'us' who we are. We continue this way in life until one day we wake from a sleep state and say "NO MORE!". Tired of allowing others to run our lives for us we take command finally and pull together bits and pieces that have been laying aside discarded like old rags. Carefully dusting them off and ever so gently and lovingly placing them in order. This is the start of our rebuilding process. 
In times like this we need to be very gentle with ourselves. There will be times when we momentarily slip a little... the one step back to gain two forward. "I CAN do this, I WILL do this", sounds almost like the Little Red Engine that puffed and panted its way in our childhood up that hill. He made it, so why can't I? 
This Blog is in a sense my turn to regain ownership of my life. This is MINE, I can say what I like (to a degree) and I don't need to ask anyone "Is this ok? What do you think of this? Will this look good?" I can be anything I want. Informative or just plain silly..... for the first time in my life I am taking my life in my own hands and walking on.
I encourage you to do the same. It is not always easy, there are many different circumstances in life (and I know of many personally) that will hold you back, try to keep you down where you have always been.. predictable and compliant. I have lived my life like this and it has brought me nothing but frustration and wondering "who am I?" 
I figure the only way to find out is to "go out the door and feel the sun"....
A wonderful man I was blessed enough to meet one day by the name of Jim Rohn talked a lot about taking the time to educate yourself. To finding the time to read that book, take that class. Learn how to make something of yourself.... you DESERVE to be the BEST you can be, and if you are not happy with your life then go find that book, go take that class. He also said "for things to change, I have to change. For things to get better, I have to get better" 

Have  a blessed day

Sunday, September 19, 2010

New Beginnings

Merry Meet all who are reading this blog.

Welcome to my world. Crazy at times, other times quite thoughtful and full of insights.

Today is my husbands and my anniversary, the anniversary of our Handfasting. Now many may not know what a Handfasting is, so I'll put it to you from what it meant to me. Our Handfasting to me was the spiritual side of our Wiccan walk together. In this we have made a vow before the Deities we chose (or did they choose us?) to witness the vow that we made before Them to each other to be together forever and a day. To honour and support each other in all that our lives will present to us to deal with. Sounds sort of like a conventional wedding doesn't it? Not quite. I have been to many weddings and have myself been married before, and trust me a Handfasting is SO DIFFERENT.

Some may choose to make this day a family affair or a big party day. It is a day of celebration yes, but we chose to have only us and the High Priestess who conducted the ceremony and bound us by the chords that were made by me and attached to the handle of our Besom that we made together. This knotted chord held our rings safe and secure until our 'official' wedding day on Ocotber 31. This day in the Southern Hemisphere is Beltane a day for celebration for more than our wedding in the Wiccan calendar. The wheel of the year turns to Beltane, the day of Spring celebrations, the half way point between Ostara and Mid Summer. On Beltane we were gathered with a few close friends and family. We repeated our vows said to each other those weeks before at our Handfasting and in front of our friends and family untied our rings and exchanged them.

So as you can see, I am one who walks the path of a Witch. Wiccan. Many will run from me out of  fear and ignorance of what a Witch is in this day and age, and for that matter what a Witch was back in the days before the Burning Times. I am me, no more no less.

I have no idea where this blog will wind its way. Who it will touch in, I trust and hope a positive way. For I mean Harm to NONE in all I do and say. I may challenge your thinking, you my readers may challenge mine. I welcome you all who mean no harm to others to join in this journey, the journey of the roller coaster ride.

Are you buckled in tight?

Blessed Be